Do You Really Know Your Friends?

I know it has been a while since I have written something, but I only write when I feel compelled. And this past weekend I was beyond inspired by a casual conversation with one of my good friends, Lauren. Allow me to paint the scene for you.

My friends and I are sitting in my dining room eating some food, as most conversations are had over a meal (I know, I am a fat ass haha). The inevitable subject of dating comes up. One of my friends asked me, “what are you looking for in a guy,” as my 7-year on-again off-again relationship just ended. My answer was, “Honestly, I don’t know. First, I have to ask what am I looking for from myself and what do I want in life before I can know what I want from someone else.” Then, I turned to Lauren and asked her the same question. And her answered floored me, as I was able to truly relate to her response. She said, “That question[/subject] stresses me out. I feel pressured to have to talk to someone; and at the moment I could care less.” So thank you, Lauren, for the rawest/”don’t care if you judge me” response that has ever graced my ears.

I was excited to hear Lauren share her thoughts and feelings. I have felt that very same way every time someone asked me, “So, are you talking to anyone?” If I was not talking to someone I felt as if I was supposed to be. As if I was living my life completely wrong because I was not dating around. And just as Lauren pointed out, I too felt a pressure. At times, I would even get slightly aggravated, like, is my life so uninteresting to you that you have to ask me about someone else?!?! As I mentioned, I recently got out of a LONGGGGG relationship. Thus, I have not felt independent and so utterly free since I was 19!!! This new-found liberation has made me appreciate my time to and for myself. It has taught me that it is alright to not talk to someone at all times. It is alright to take a break from dating and focus on myself, my goals, and to enjoy my own damn company. Because, shit, the core of one’s happiness and peace originates internally and shines outward, not the other way around.

I have been on both sides of this scenario, the person being asked and the person asking. To those of you whom I have asked, let me apologize. Because instead of asking you if you are talking to someone and asking you to tell me about him/her, I should have been more interested in you as an individual. Each of us has stories untold waiting to be breathed into life. I am going to go out on a limb and say 90% of you reading this will know if your friends are talking to someone but will have no idea about their passions. So I challenge you all, myself included, to really get to know people. Find out their dreams, aspirations, goals, fears, beliefs, anything pertaining to their unique and fascinating individuality.

We are all beautiful novels. Let us delve into the depths of each other’s soulful pages rather than listen to the cliffnotes of other books.

#thankyoulauren

#readme

#letmereadyou